After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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