It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
