the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
A+ Viking dick
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
