He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize