she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize