i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
