i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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