Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
