im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
