as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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