I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
