16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
