im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize