forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
