i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
