Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Success! We fucked roommates!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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