Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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