I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We are two peas in an std pod
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
