Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
