Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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