She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
