Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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