eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
