Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
