You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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