can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I hate all girls vehemently.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
