you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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