white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
