I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
