i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
