You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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