I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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