I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
