She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
