Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
