This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
