She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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