My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize