I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize