i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
