Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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