He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was like eating out sand paper
It's just like the Real World with babies
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
