exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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