love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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