its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
