So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
