Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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