White coat. Heels.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
