We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
