worst night to have a conscience
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
