last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
