I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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