you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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