I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
