You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
