That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
