She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
