Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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