Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
