Nicole vs. Life
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
