we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
