Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
