The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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